Friday, 25 October 2013

The first time I felt those lips...

  I saw her standing under a tree with folded arms. It was a cold misty February morning, almost a week after Valentine's day. She was wearing a simple green kurti and blue jeans. I could say that the chillness was getting to her 'cause she kept rubbing her left arm with her palm. She didn't notice me till I whispered "Good Morning Miss"into her ears from behind. She turned with a jolt and gloomily said "Hi". She never liked it when I made her wait.
 We started walking to the library like we did every other day. There was a secret stairway on the 12th floor where we used to spend our mornings together. The ground floor was deserted and we were the only two waiting for the elevator. The elevator arrived with a Ting. She hopped in like a little kid and pulled me in by my elbow. The door closed behind us and I heard a distorted version of Beethoven's 9th symphony which happened to be the elevator's music. "You're wearing too much of Mascara today. It makes you look scary", I teased her. She gave a cute pout and nudged me.
 The elevator stopped. We ambled towards the far end of the corridor and went behind the wooden blockade. That was our spot. It was dark, warm, cozy, lonely and most importantly it was a place whose existence was known only to us. Those stairs there has witnessed the best and worst of our relationship. I share a lot of memories with that place but I remember none as well as I remember this.
 I sat on the third stair throwing my bag to the side. She sat beside me and started talking. She was beautiful. Not the Marilyn Monroe beautiful, she was the Cinderella beautiful. I kept staring at her. My ears stopped listening to her words. Those eyes of hers were intense. They were big too and they kept dancing from one side to another while she was talking. Her lips were moving in a slow, rhythmic way. They were nice and pink. "HELLO MISTER!", she bellowed. That got me into my senses. "What happened?", she asked. I smiled and shook my head. She raised her eye brow. I shook my head again, then said "I love you".
 She smiled and leaned on my shoulder. I kissed her on her head. That was the first time my lips touched her. My heart skipped a beat. Blushing, she said “I love you too”. Her eyes caught mine, her voice was so feeble that it felt more like a breath, whispered deep inside my chest. “What took you so long to say this to me idiot?”, she asked.
Then, I reached out and wrapped my hands around her neck, pulled her close to me, and leaned forward. My heart started pounding harder, so hard that I could hear it. She inched in closer. Her hair smelt so fresh, so wonderful. She closed her eyes and and her lips moved dangerously close to mine.
 And, there it was. My first kiss.
 It was neither a gentle, tentative, full of romance 'Edward and Bella kiss' nor it was an erotic, lustful, raw passionate 'James Bond kiss'. It was something beyond that. Something more special. Something that could be cherished and revered for another 100 years. It tasted of desperation, of missing her, and needing her, and the innocent affection we had for each other. As I pulled her tighter, she held onto me harder. Her lips were grapes, strawberry and every other juicy thing that I have ever tasted.
And for a second, she did nothing. Didn’t move, didn’t breathe. I released her and was trying to understand what was happening. Then, it didn’t matter. She pulled me by my shirt sleeve and curled her arms around my shoulders and she let herself to be kissed. Our lips met again, they merged into one, blending as they breathed, our mouths struggled in gentle warmth, playing in corners where a heavy air came and went in silence. Then my hands went to sink in her hair, to cherish slowly it's depth while she held me with love, making me feel like a Greek god. There were two bodies, one soul; two guts, one feeling. Then I felt her tremble against me like a moon on the water. I am convinced that at that time if she had zoomed into my eyes behind the darkness of my lids, she would see fireworks that matched the beating of my heart. I never wanted that moment to end.....

Goodbye my lover...

 It was yet another tiring and boring day. The college buses were running late on that particular afternoon because of some stupid celebration going on in the auditorium. Being a  sluggish goose, I chose to while away the three hours instead of taking the train. There was only one thought in my mind. Lola. "Was she thinking about me too? Would she come by my bus today? Will she sit next to me? Will she be in her 'high and fun' mood today?", I asked Ashwin. Flinching, he said "You're worse than girls! Get a life bro". Ashwin was a big jerk who was capable of insulting my feelings without offending me. In other words, he was my bestie.

We spent the next 3 hours lying on the lawn and ogling at chicks. It was 5.30. My heart started pounding. I desperately wanted to talk to her. About what, I didn't know. But for some reason it felt so important. There had been a lot of fights and misunderstanding in the past few weeks already and just five days back, I did something wrong, probably the biggest mistake of my life. "You tell her everything, you have to tell this to her too" my heart said. "Dude! Are you insane? If you do, she's never going to talk to you again" my head argued.

 I decided to give our addiction a chance to soothe the raging war inside me. We crossed the lane and went to a stall outside the girl's hostel. "Two coffees cost 60 bucks? They're stealing from us man!". Ashwin was swearing at Coffee Day Express but my ears were too engrossed in the heated conversation between my heart and head. A minute later, everything changed. I could feel the cool evening breeze blowing against my face, the aroma of coffee beans clogging my nose and the hot coffee draining down my throat. Whoa! Would life be worth living if it wasn't for caffeine, I wonder. I took a deep breath and then had my second sip. It was heavenly. Walking to my bus, I finished the cup.

 Damn! There she was. The most beautiful girl I have ever seen. I slowly got into the bus. There were a lot of people I guess but I couldn't see any of them expect for one and I was staring at that one. It's been more than a week since we spoke. I missed her. To me, at that moment, the whole world had come to a stand still. Wearing a deep purple top with white sleeves, she was staring back with her black watery eyes. "Why the hell was she looking so pretty today?", I asked myself. She smiled at me. Uffff! That was it. I couldn't look at her anymore. Smile was indeed the most beautiful curve on a woman's body. I wanted to say 'hi' but my tongue refused to move. I strolled to the back of the bus and took my seat.

 I was cursing myself. I should have spoken to her. After a while, the bus started moving. I was in a dilemma on whether or not I should go and sit next to her. "She didn't talk to you either. She has changed. If she had wanted you to sit with her, she would have asked", a wise voice inside told me. My fingers weren't listening though as it was too busy typing a text for her. 'Oye! Sit next to me. *puppy face*', the SMS said. Fighting the ego inside me, I pressed on send and waited. There was no reply from her side... I stretched my neck trying hard to get a glimpse of her from behind. She didn't move a muscle. I checked my phone again to see whether the message was sent. Then, after what seemed like an eternity, reality hit me. I realized that she wasn't going to come. How can a person who was so crazy about you all these years, change this much in a span of 100 days? Why is she so mad at me? What did I do to deserve this? Life's such a bitch. It really is.
 I slowly leaned on the window and put on my earphones. I selected the first album on my playlist. It read James Blunt. My eyes were staring at the beautiful full moon on the black night sky while my lips mouthed the song, 
"Goodbye my lover.. 
Goodbye my friend.. 
You have been the one.. You have been the one for me..."